Bukang Liwayway or Break of Dawn

Sa aking pag-iisa ako’y nagnilay-nilay
Napagtanto kong nagsimula lahat sa away
Mga problema ng aking mala-telanobelang buhay
Na nauwi sa paghahanap ng bukang liwayway

Hindi na ako ang bata na laging tumutulo ang laway
Isang musmos na walang kamalay-malay
Lumaki at hinasa ng dahil sa kasasaway
Tatahan lamang pag laruan ay ibinigay

Sawa na ako sa mga mahahabang galamay
Pag-aaruga ng mahigpit na nanay
Kaya eto ako sumabak sa paglalakbay
Sa mabilis na agos ng buhay ay sumabay

Tinabig ko ang yong marupok na saklay
Sa sahig ay pinabayaang nakahandusay
Pinagtawanan at iniwang mag-isa ang pilay
Ang makita kang umiiyak ako ay sanay

Galit ay namuo sa aking mga kamay
At naudyok akong pumatay
Ang dating lantang gulay
Isa na ngayong malamig na bangkay

Ang pag-sisisi sa alambre ay isinampay
Kasiyahan natagpuan sa araw-araw na pagtagay
Kasama ang mga kaibigan at tapat na alalay
Ang pagsasaya ay walang humpay

Napawariwara man ako sa simbahang gumagabay
Ngayon ay nagbabalik sa pangakong mag-aalay
Upang marating ang tunay na kasiyahang taglay
Ng isang magandang bukang liwayway

The story behind the poem

My professor for rhetoric, Mr. Eros S. Atalia, a Filipino author and professor at the University of Santo Tomas, asked us to create a “tugmaan” or a poem with rhyme about love in time for Valentine’s Day or whatever ridiculous idea we might come up with. At first I was hesitant, I just survived a very bad break-up, so I wrote an anger-filled poem. After presenting it in front of the class I just knew that I needed to change it because it has no impact, so I did. After pondering in the middle of a crowded church, inspiration strikes.

The poem is entitled “Bukang Liwayway” or the Break of Dawn. It’s about a teenager who wants to find the meaning of happiness that he never experienced under the hands of his overprotective mother. He chases the break of dawn, because of his desire to be free but in the process killing his mother because of years worth of grudges that he couldn’t contain. At first he refuses to admit the error of his ways but he soon realizes that by learning how to forgive and by admitting his mistakes can he find true happiness that he has been looking for.

My professor praised me for my work and even my friends acknowledged it as beautiful but very disturbing because of the death portrayed in it. All in all, I’m happy because it turned out good.

Photo credits:

Model: ME

Photographer: Jose Miguel Reyes, classmate, friend, and my comrade

July 2007